My Tree of life

I have completed my rendition of the Qabalistic Tree of Life! A fuller account of my experiences while painting it can be read in my blog titled AHA! It is not perfect, but such is life in Malkuth. At the very top we see the anti primal triad, depicted as two silver lines, Ain and Ain Soph, with the third, Ain Soph Aur, wrapping around the tree. This is because Kether's moment of self realization, the "I am," which starts the whole wheel in motion, occurs within the boundless void of the Anti Primal Triad: Ain, Ain soph and Ain soph Aur. In our Thelemic tradition Ain soph is personified by Nuit, just as Kether is personified by Hadit.

Also in silver we see the Hexagram, the unicursal hexagram, an upright pentagram and a downward pentagram in the Sephira between Kether and Tiphareth , with Daath at the center. These hexagrams/pentagrams in the Abyss, also display the four hidden paths of the Tree, which give us 26 paths and is intricately linked to the English Qabalah which I discussed in my last blog. Surrounding Tiphareth we see a downward facing pentagram. Traditionally we would have the indentical hexagrams/pentagrams arrangement we have above, only with Tiphareth at the center. This is known as The Lesser Countenance, Zaur Anpin, or Microprosopos. All I have to do is to draw two paths from Netzach and Hod to Daath, but something about the downward facing pentagram here speaks to me for a number of reasons. We shall see... 93 93/93

My Magickal Motto

I understand the magickal motto to be part of the process of carving out a sacred space in my life. Of course, the ultimate goal is to make my whole life nothing but sacred space, but it is a process. The process begins with a dichotomy, and hopefully culminates with its reconciliation. I know the sacred by knowing the profane, or mundane. It is from this reference the process begins, so Frater Prima Materia is the magickal identity I've chosen to signify this new state of becoming, or my first stage of initiation.

I arrived at Prima Materia both conceptually and by using English gematria, which is eloquently explained by David Cherubim on the TGD website. Prima Materia is the first material, or matter, it is an alchemical term that often refers to Kether, but the first matter can also refer to the blind and unformed state of the aspirant coming into initiation. So, Prima Materia is both my ultimate aspiration, and my beginning magical state.

Using the English gematria we see Prima Materia has a numeric value of: 744. 7 + 4 + 4= 15, the path of the Emperor, and of Aries (my sign). 1 + 5= 6, the number of God, the Sun, the beast, and the holy number of Thelema. If we look at the other words/terms which share the value of 744, we see: Hoor-Pa-Kraat, Harpocrates, Splendour, Subtlety, Autonomy, Angra Mainyu, Goat of Mendes, Son of Satan, Star Ruby, Aureae Crucis, Fire and Water, Conjunctio, Compassion, etc. Even a cursory inquiry into the path of the neophyte, or the nature of the Great Work can show what a fitting melange of meanings these can be to an aspirant.

And now the most important and decisive reason of all: It sang to me... the outline I give here of how I arrived at my magickal Motto are the choices I made to start my search. There are no right or wrong criteria, except that the choice resonates with the aspirant and that they arrive at it on their own. I share my experience for the sake of sharing it, that's why I've started this blog. Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law, love is the Law, love under will.

"This book shall be translated into all tongues: but always with the original in the writing of the Beast; for in the chance shape of the letters and their position to one another: in these are mysteries that no Beast shall divine. Let him not seek to try: but one cometh after him, whence I say not, who shall discover the Key of it all. Then this line drawn is a key: then this circle squared in its failure is a key also. And Abrahadabra. It shall be his child & that strangely. Let him not seek after this; for thereby alone can he fall from it." AL III, 47

The "Do" in "Do What Thou Wilt"

It is so easy to slip into the theoretical/philosophical side of magick. Our tradition is so dense with information, and individual interpretations of both the information and the tradition itself, that it's very easy to spiral into academic Crowleyism. Of course, information is necessary as a foundation for its practical application, so a balance must be struck.

While doing my ritual this week I questioned whether I am living my path, along side what I'm doing in my temple. Now is time to practically apply the tenets of Thelema to my life, as well as my ritual work. I have been working a job I hate while in college. There's a lot of responsibility, and it totally clashes with my academic demands. My will is to be an educator, that is what I'm working towards. Why am I letting fear and convenience keep me doing something that has nothing to do with my greater will?

I am now using my temple work to manifest my will in my greater life. I do my LBRP, Then I form an image of this fearful/slave self, which is allowing me to be manipulated by drives other than my will. I turn North, to the quarter of Fire (in the four winds ritual), fix the image in my forehead, and do the sign of the enterer, or attacker in this case, and when my hands reach my forehead I violently cast this image into the fires of the southern quarter and watch it dissolve.
In my daily life I began to search for alternatives. Now, in less than a week, I have obtained jobs working for my University tutoring, and teaching for a school which employs the Direct Instruction system. This is the true nature of magick, and the asset of practicing Thelema. There should be a constant checking in with myself as to whether I am being true to my will, and higher self. If I'm not, the task is to discover, acknowledge and manifest that will.
Nosce te ipsum.

AHA!

I've beheld the Tree of Life for many years now, and now I've started to paint my own as part of my neophyte tasks. I enthusiastically echo the importance of this. I've always known of some of the attributions, and I've also known there has to be a greater rhyme, or reason, but never really gave it much thought.

While I was painting the second, or Ethical Triad, I thought: "Hey, these are the primary colors...", and suddenly a chain of revelations into the nature of the sephirothic color scheme blazed across my mind. The Supernal Triad is archetypical, so of course, we have the foundation on which color, or sight are built . White, black & grey, or light, dark and shade. These are the rudiments of color in the way that Chokmah's Forceful, and Binah's Formative natures are the rudiments of masculine and feminine.

It is in the Ethical Triad we see the birth of the idea, the individual, the concept of perspective, this is where color is born. Here we have the primary colors Chesed-blue, Geburah-red, and Tiphareth-Yellow. This evolution from white/black/shade to color is accompanied by an evolution from archetypical dichotomy, to the depiction of a King at peace, a King at war, and a beautiful man who is balancing these influences of Mercy and Severity to be strong yet just.

The third, or Astral Triad brings us the secondary colors. We see chesed's blue has been enriched with the yellow of Tiphareth, and now emerging the emerald green of Netzach. The same is true of Hod's orange after Tiphareth's mediation of Geburah. Looked at sideways these are two triangles whose apex is Tiphareth.

Yesod is violet, and is the apex of a downward facing triangle whose base is Chesed and Geburah. The Astral Triad brings us the prism, the complete expression of color. Where is indigo, you may ask? Indigo is the color of the invisible Sephira Daath. It does not follow the triangular arrangement of the others, nor is it below Tiphareth like the other secondary colors, but Daath is exceptional in every way. To come to think of it indigo is also unique in the prism, it is the only color of the prism not formed by merging two primary colors, but a primary and a secondary. The Astral Triad is of the mind, our dichotomy, and its reconciliation are now at their most sophisticated development before descending into the quaterny of Malkuth. The intuition, and the cognitive mind are balanced by the foundation of the Tree, Yesod: the blueprint ready to manifest, the realm of astral images, the collective unconscious, and so on.

Lastly Malkuth is four colors: citrine, russet, olive and black. Four colors because Malkuth is the manifestation of the Tetragrammaton: Yod He Vau He, Fire; Water, Air, Earth; South, West, North, East, etc. The colors of Malkuth are not bright like the others. They are not formed by simple combinations of two primary colors, instead they are muddled and dense. They reflect the nature of Malkuth, the physical universe. I've gone off on a tangent here, and must reel myself back in, but all of this blossomed my mind in the blink of an eye, while dipping my brush in the Yellow of Tiphareth.

My Temple and Ritual

93!!!
So far I have constructed my altar, according to Crowley's instructions in Liber ABA. Seen in the picture are my Therion banner in the East, and my Sun & Moon pillars, which correspond to the pillars of Mercy and Severity. My altar is covered with black silk, and on it can be seen my Stele of Revealing, statue of Horus, and Book of the Law.

I'm doing the standard rituals of the neophyte: The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, and the Middle Pillar Exercise (hereafter called LBRP and MPE). I have been doing the vanilla (Golden Dawn) versions of both for several months now and will be for another 2 1/2 months, at which point I will begin the Thelemic versions. I am also doing the Resh Vel Helios ritual with adoration at least a few times a day, and that is becoming very natural. I'm feeling comfortable with them at this stage of the game, but I think I'm riding the short-bus in the "creative visualization" department. I see tracers when drawing all the Pentagrams now, especially on the the line that goes across. For the last week or so it has been building so that I can see tracers for almost the whole Southern Pentagram (Earth). The Southern and Western (Water) Pentagrams have always given me the most results. This jives with the feminine/formative nature of the attributions of these directions, the imagery should crystallize in these quarters first. However, I have a very difficult time visualizing the Archangels, as well as staying aware of the Pentagrams and Hexagrams throughout the whole ritual. It takes time, or at least it's taking me time.

However, I do get empirical results in the ritual. I get bursts of energy, again especially in the South and West, as the ritual progresses. The nature of the visual is akin to what happens when you close your eyes really tight and get those colorful explosions behind your eyelids. They happen whether I do my ritual during the day or night, even if I do the ritual astrally, which entails projecting an image of myself doing the ritual rather than physically doing it (this is done to develop an astral body for later path working). My breathing automatically regulates itself to a slow and controlled pace, and when facing West doing the MPE I always feel quite intoxicated. I get what I call the swoon, and my eyes begin to wiggle the way they do during an MDMA experience. So there are weighable, measurable changes that occur when in my circle doing my ritual. 93 93/93 Frater Prima Materia

... Practise a thousand times, and it becomes difficult; a thousand thousand, and it becomes easy; a thousand thousand times a thousand thousand, and it is no longer thou that doeth it, but it that doeth itself through thee. Not until then is that which is done well done.
Aleister Crowley, The Book of Lies, "The Mountaineer"

Introduction

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law, Love is the Law, Love under Will...

I am an initiate of the Thelemic Golden Dawn, Frater Prima Materia is my magickal motto. I am presently a neophyte and was initiated less than one month ago on the Winter solstice. I was born with my Sun in Aries, Moon in Leo, and Libra as my ascendant. I am very fiery, but also prone to very powerful shifting emotions, as my natal chart shows.

Thelema, (Greek for Will), is a Western Hermetic tradition founded by Aleister Crowley, and based on the Book of the Law, (with old and new commentary). Organized religion never did it for me, and my attraction to Hermetic Qabalah was rooted in its comprehensiveness, subjectivity, and practicality. My attraction to Thelema was at first the fascinating, though at times dark, character of Aleister Crowley, but ultimately its celebration of the individual, and theme of Liberation is what won my loyalty.

My reasons for starting this blog are twofold: a) Anything that gives me reason to analyze my experiences and evolution is an asset, and b) I courted the Western Hermetic mysteries for over a decade before I underwent formal initiation, and I would have been grateful for anyone sharing their perceptions of the path of initiation. I am regarding this blog as a sort of online magickal diary. I do not plan to go back and change entries, but this profile/introduction will be an ongoing work, as will the graphics, links and so on.

I am not a master, adept, holy-man, the Grand Pooba, or any other such lofty title. I am searching for the light switch like anyone else might be. Any of my entries are a reflection of where I'm at in my present stage of initiation. I hope any of you who read along with me find something worth while here. Pretentious-eye-rolling-know-it-all-occultists, should write/read their own blog, and remember: I did not click on you... Anyone wishing to exchange information, experiences, observations and the like can email me at primamateria93@gmail.com. "Quit the darkness, and seek the light."