The Ordeals

I have not done a blog in some time, and my practice has also been sporatic for the last two months. There is much to write about, so I will break this up into three entries over the next three days. Today I will write of my ordeals.

Once school started back up again I began to really have to wrestle with myself, my own inner demons to persist in my practice. School is not the reason for this, but the ideal excuse to empower my ego. I have been addressing this problem within myself all during this degree. I touched on it in the Battle Cry entry.

However, I was looking at it as "my problem," something unique to me in a type of self depreciating way. Upon speaking with the head of my Sanctuary last night I realized that this is the ordeals of the lower grade. I hit my head and just went DUH!!!! The will to perservere, to aknowledge and check the ego, to train my will to see through the ego's veil. To some extent I have to welcome these obstacles as symbols of progress, the actuality of my path, so to speak.

In the Thelemic Golden Dawn (T.·.G.·.D.·.) we view Thelemic Initiation itself as a Spiritual War or personal battle with the self/ego/ruach. The Initiate of the Thelemic Golden Dawn is therefore consecrated as a Warrior of Horus, whose only Weapon is the Sword of Thelema, to conquer the real enemy within -- the self. Even the so-called enemy without is but a symbol for the true enemy within. In our Thelemic Philosophy the enemy without is actually looked upon as a focal point and means for conquering the true enemy within. It is a Spiritual War, an Internal Combat for Self-Control, Self-Liberation and Self-Illumination. David Cerubim, The Warrior of Thelema